a while for a man to understand how a woman may react dif-
ferently to situations.
MAKING UP SO YOU DON’T BREAK UP
These techniques of apology and forgiveness can be used at
any time throughout the five stages, but definitely they should
be practiced as a prerequisite for marriage. As the potential
problems and conflicts increase, it is vitally important to know
how to find resolution and compromise. Without the practiced
ability to make up, you may eventually break up. If you get
into the habit of apologizing for the little things, then when
the more difficult situations arise it will be much easier.
SINGLE AGAIN
Some people who are single again may not feel the need to get
married. They are divorced and their children have grown up.
To them there is no apparent reason to get married. In past
generations, marriage was just to raise children. They believe
they can have a deep and meaningful relationship without a
lifetime commitment.
Likewise there are couples who do not plan to have a family.
They also do not necessarily recognize the importance of get-
ting married. In the past people got married primarily to ensure
the survival and security of the family. If they are not planning
a family, then why get married?
As we have already explored, times have changed. Today
we get married to find more than survival and security. We
get married to find personal fulfillment. Certainly a couple can
share a deep and meaningful relationship, but unless they
eventually move to stage five, their love will not continue to
grow. Romantic love requires a soul commitment to thrive.
126 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.