What do you expect him to say? “Yes, I have plenty of time
because my life is empty and I have no friends”? Just as this
would make him appear unlovable and undesirable, to ask
him this question actually makes you appear just as undesirable
and unloved. In stage one, any indication that you are planning
a future together is premature and can push him away. This
question is just as untimely as asking if he wants to get married
soon and have kids. He will let you know when he is ready.
When would you like to get together again?
This is way too pushy. You might as well ask him to get out
his calendar to schedule a date.
- Make Positive Comments
Instead of asking questions, the secret of calling a man is to
make positive comments. Let him know how you feel; don’t
ask him how he feels. Let him know that you had a good time;
don’t ask him how he felt. Avoid asking questions like the
plague.
Instead of asking questions, use F.Y.I.O.—“for your inform-
ation only”—statements. These comments do not make or even
imply any request for information regarding his feelings or
intentions. These are some examples:
Statements that Men Love to Hear“I really loved that movie, it was great! The scene...”
“I had such a good time the other night. The food at Greens
restaurant was definitely the best...”260 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.