These women had been pursued by men who were primarily
sexually attracted to them but didn’t really get to know them.
When a man feels sexual chemistry, quite often he thinks he
knows a woman; he feels interested in her, he likes her, he even
thinks he loves her. The real test is whether he still likes and
loves her after he gets to know her. Although it may feel like
love, it is not necessarily real or lasting. When a relationship
passes the test of time, the love is real.
These men who stopped being attracted to their partners
did not betray these women. Both partners were responsible.
They put too much emphasis on the physical aspect of the re-
lationship and didn’t create the opportunity to know and love
each other enough to discover if they were soul mates.
When physical chemistry is not backed up by chemistry in
the mind, heart, and soul, then it cannot last or grow in time.
Once the pleasures and passions of the body are experienced
without corresponding passions of the mind, heart, and soul,
the physical chemistry will dissipate. Physical attraction can
be sustained for a lifetime only when it springs from chemistry
of the mind, heart, and soul as well.
THE SOUL AND LASTING LOVE
The soul is that aspect of who we are that is most lasting. When
the soul is attracted to someone and recognizes a mate, then
with that person, because we experience a soul chemistry, the
physical, emotional, and mental chemistry can also be sus-
tained. Lasting physical attraction must find its source in our
souls.
On the level of the soul, you are the same throughout your
life. The person who was a little child is the same person you
are now. You are you all of your life. The soul is that part of
you that doesn’t change. The way you physically look, the
18 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.