if you are a jumper and your time is yet to come, the wisdom
of the five stages will assist you in having more fulfilling rela-
tionships until the time is right for you.
By understanding these three different styles of learning,
we can more easily appreciate the importance of the five stages
of dating. As we continue to get closer to finding true love, it
is easy to be thrown off track if we lack an understanding of
our differences.
DIFFERENCES ARE NOT OBSTACLES
Even when we feel chemistry with someone, we can easily
make the mistake of assuming that we are just too different to
make a relationship work. This is why the insights of Men Are
from Mars, Women Are from Venus have helped so many rela-
tionships. Couples commonly make the mistake of assuming
that they are just too different ever to get their needs met.
In many cases they were able to begin getting what they
needed by understanding their differences, and they discovered
that differences were a source of fulfillment and support rather
than an obstacle. In a similar manner, when you meet someone
who has different interests, it does not mean that a relationship
is hopeless.
With good communication skills, different interests don’t
have to be a source of conflict. When a woman complains that
her husband plays too much golf or is too involved in sports,
his interest in sports is not really the problem. The problem is
their inability to nurture each other’s needs.
RESENTMENT CREATES POLARIZATION
When men and women misunderstand each other, misinterpret
each other’s actions, and miscommunicate their feelings,
358 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.