making this woman happy. She also gets to taste how it feels
to receive his support. In this way, he bonds with her and she
bonds with him. In the next stage, exclusivity, after they have
bonded, she can begin sharing the expenses and doing little
things for him as well, but on a romantic date he should be the
main provider.
Without an understanding of these stages, a man sometimes
gets stuck in uncertainty. Instead of testing to see if he can
make a woman happy and win her over, he begins to question
whether she can give him what he wants. When a man focuses
on what he wants, he is sure to miss the perfect woman for
him. When he focuses on the question, “Am I the right man
for her?” then he will find clarity to either move on to exclus-
ivity or end the relationship and start again with someone else.
When a man focuses on what he wants, he is
sure to miss the perfect woman for him.WHEN WOMEN ARE UNCERTAIN
When a woman moves into stage two and feels uncertain, she
reacts differently from a man. While a man tends to question
whether he wants to pursue a relationship, a woman tends to
question where the relationship is going. Quite often, she senses
the man pulling away. To find reassurance, she makes one of
two common mistakes. Either she starts asking questions about
the relationship, or she may try to win him over. Both of these
approaches can push him away or prevent him from feeling
confident that he is the right guy for her.
50 / JOHN GRAY, PH.D.