enly antidote for a frustrated love life. Nothing could be further
from the truth.
By clearly understanding the wisdom of going slowly and
moving through the five stages of dating, both men and woman
will enjoy the dating process more and eventually find true
love. When a man is used to fast women and then he meets a
woman who wants to go slowly, it is normal for him to grumble
a bit. If, however, there is more than just physical chemistry
between them, he will respect her wishes and go slowly.
Instead of refusing to be receptive to all his advances, a wo-
man should just politely and firmly say no to the sexual part
if she is not yet ready. If he can respect her, then he is worthy
of her. If he cannot and stays annoyed, then he is just not ready
to be in a serious relationship and she does herself and him a
favor by rejecting him.
If a woman is not ready she can still be polite
and firmly say no to a man’s sexual advances.When a man wants to be more physically intimate and a
woman doesn’t know how to say no because she doesn’t want
to hurt his feelings, she needs to remember that she is not ob-
ligated in any way. All he really needs is to feel successful in
fulfilling her and to hope that one day it might happen. She
can simply say, “I like this, but I am not ready for more. This
is as far as I go for now.”
Saying no to sex doesn’t mean that a couple should have no
sexual intimacy. Men need physical intimacy in order to open
up and feel their love and desire, and to feel committed. Just
as women are stimulated by a man’s romantic interest and
good conversation, men are stimulated by a woman’s sexual
responsiveness. To be stimulated, however, they don’t have
to go all the way.
STAGE TWO: UNCERTAINTY / 59