Model Marriage by Bishop Dag Heward Mills

What Every Christian Should Know About Divorce

(f) Bitterness (long-standing and degenerate unforgiveness).

(g) Tremendous pain.

(h) A permanent scar.

(i) You will be handicapped. There are things you can’t do well anymore.

(j) Distress––similar to the feeling of bereavement that follows the death of someone
close to you.

(k) Depression:

i. Caused by contrasting how you thought things were going to be for the

rest of your life and how they apparently will be following the divorce.

ii. Depression stems from feelings of rejection which can lead to with-

drawal from everybody.^3

Difficulties of Remarriage and Singlehood

(a) You will probably encounter the same problems again.

(b) You will always wonder whether you could not have made your marriage work.

(c) The children will be greatly affected and may become social deviants. This is
very common.

(d) You may always suffer from the broken/wounded spirit, bitterness and deep-
seated resentment, which will have a very bad effect on your spiritual and prayer
life.^4

Predisposing Factors to Divorce

(a) Adultery––when adultery occurs, it leads to mistrust and eventually a breakdown
of the whole marital union.

(b) Unresolved hurts and offences leading to a state of chronic unhappiness and
depression.

(c) Violence in the marriage––where one party resorts to violence and sharp abusive
words to resolve conflicts.

(d) Childlessness––some people allow a situation of childlessness to degenerate into
a break-up of the relationship.

(e) Long separation––where one spouse travels to live in another country and the
other is unable to join due to inability to obtain the necessary visa.

(f) Interference from relatives and friends:

i. Too much parental influence and control.

ii. Too many dependents from extended family members.

(g) A bad attitude––a persistent and deliberate bad attitude that cannot respond to
advice, rebuke, admonishing or entreaties from anyone, including the pastors.^5