365 STEPS TO SELF-CONFIDENCE
If you need to criticise:■ Choose the time and place carefully so they’ll be receptive to your
comments.
■ Don’t criticise in front of others; you wouldn’t like it, and neither
will they.
■ Criticise their conduct, not their character, and give examples of the
behaviour you’re criticising.
■ Don’t label them: avoid insults and put-downs such as lazy, stupid,
ignorant etc.326Use the critical sandwich. Start with a positive, then make your
criticism. Finish with a constructive remark.
For example, ‘As you know, I’ve been extremely happy with your
work since you joined us, but there is one thing I need to mention. I’ve
noticed you’re getting in later and later each morning: you were half an
hour late yesterday, and 20 minutes late on Tuesday. Now I know the
buses haven’t been all that reliable recently, but please make an effort to
be punctual. So please, carry on with the good work. It’s good to have
you on our team.’327Pay compliments often. The secret of giving a compliment is to pick
the right moment, keep it short and then shut up. Be sincere – most
people can spot empty flattery a mile off.
When you pay a compliment, don’t put yourself down. The
sentence in italics below is unnecessary and sends an awful message to
the subconscious Prover:‘I was impressed by the way you dealt with the problem.
I couldn’t have done it so well.’328When someone pays you a compliment, smile and say, ‘Thank you’, or
‘How kind of you.’ That’s all you need to do. Not only will you feel
good, but you are showing respect to the giver too.329