believe me when I said ‘I don’t hawith assigning blame. My job is to find out ve anything to do
factually what happened and what we can do don’t do blame. And you’ll have the same – and I
information.’ I have to give them everything I find, but that’s not my job, to find blame. And they
believed that and we acted on that. So it helped to keep this thing rolling even when it would have been
really easy for people to say, ‘talk to my lawyer.’(^)
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Trust
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EIVALUE
A9 Researcher: so in terms of your role in the family, what was it about emotional intelligence that you
learned in that experience?
A9: I’m a guy, a typical guy (laugh). I raise 3 daughters (laugh) and married a woman, you know,
so ... you have to learn if you’re going to survive in that kind of environment. Most guys just really
aren’perceive themselves to be. “You must be a wimp” t terribly emotionally intelligent or they don’t
or “there’s something wrong with you”.
Researcher: so what did you learn?
A9: (5 second pause) How to listen, I think listening is one of the greatest undervalued skills. Most of us
don’t know how to listen and IMAGO (unfamiliar term) training? IMAGO – are you familiar with – look
it up. It’s a way to learn how to listen better. I learned how to keep my temper under control – but
to use temper in an approwould say that they’ve never seen me angry but priate way. Most people
when you see me angry, it’s for a purpose spontaneous thing; it’s a very calculated – – and you not a
have to do that because you’re around a bunch of hormonal women. If you buy into the whole ‘anger
all the time’, you don’t win. And it’s the same way in the workplace, right? If you’re constantly angry,
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Gender
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Listening
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Listen betterLearned to
control temper
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anger
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“you have to learn if you’re going to survive in that kind of (all-female)
environment.” Most guys just really aren’t terribly emotional intelligence or
they don’t perceive themselves to be. ‘You must be a wimp’ or ‘there’s
something wrong with you’.”
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GENDER
FAMILYINF
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GENDER
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EIOTHERS
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EIPRESSURE
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