off some shady character, cop weed, or settle his rent problems. He used
to sue everyone he worked for—claiming harassment, breach of contract,
theft of services, unfair labor practices, even sexual harassment—and
has had surprisingly good luck with his second career as professional
litigator. Many of his victims, I suspect, were willing to pony up a few
dollars—just to make him go away.
Jimmy Sears, who first brought Adam Real-Last-Name-Unknown into
my circle of acquaintances (the notorious Steven and Adam acquisition
of the '92 season), is another reluctant admirer. Like me, Jimmy should
know better than to let this savage beast wander free in his kitchen, but
he keeps doing it, keeps hiring him, for the "stuff". The Sears/Adam
relationship has been a legendarily contentious one, coming to blows on
more than one occasion.
They have been both arch-enemies and close associates, rolling around
trying to kill each other on the lawns at the Inn at Quogue, having
wrestling matches at 13 Barrow and screaming contests at the Supper
Club. Steven, who's known Adam longest, has had many adventures with
him, both here in New York and in California—episodes of such
nauseating stupidity, self-indulgence, cruelty and horror that even I find
them unprintable. Adam has threatened to sue me many times. He has
sued Sears, I believe, a number of times, as his assessment of what he is
owed is frequently at odds with reality. (To be fair, Jimmy's assessments
of what he owes is sometimes at variance with established fact as well.)
There is a photo, taken years ago for a magazine article that was never
printed, showing Adam, covered from head to toe in flour, holding
Jimmy in a head-lock, pretending to bash his skull in with a rolling-pin.
It was the perfect re-creation of their relationship.
Just recently, after many years, I stopped by to see Jimmy Sears at his
new place, a swank nightclub/supper club in the Gramercy area. I sat
down at a table, ordered some food (Jimmy's food is always excellent)
and when the bread basket arrived, I looked up from the table at Jimmy