cubic feet of ice production from a machine he was contracting for. Two
minutes after signing, he had his Presidential Guard measuring and
weighing ice. When it turned out that the machine fell short by a few
pounds or cubic feet, Bigfoot found himself with two new ice machines
for the price of one. He loved playing purveyors against each other,
driving the price down. Every once in a while, if a meat company, say,
promised him the lowest price they could give, he'd have someone call
them up, pretending to be their largest account—a 300-seat steakhouse,
for instance—and ask for a copy of their last invoice, as theirs had gone
missing; could they please fax another one? God help the poor meat guys
if Peter Luger was paying two cents less a pound than Bigfoot was.
Nothing made him happier than discovering fraud or deception or even a
simple white lie. Once, after years of ordering frozen BeeGee shrimp
from a reputable seafood purveyor, Bigfoot discovered a hastily applied
label indicating net weight. When it peeled off, he realized the company
had, for years, been printing their own fake labels, heat-sealing them
over the actual weight printed on the box, and cheating him out of a few
ounces of shrimp every 5 pounds. Next time the company sent Bigfoot a
bill, he simply sent them a Polaroid photo of the incriminating box, label
peeling off to reveal actual weight. And the next time too. And for
almost a year after, Bigfoot didn't pay for fish. He never discussed it
with the company—and they never said a word. They just kept sending
him free fish until they figured all that retroactive skim was paid back.
When Bigfoot finally stopped ordering altogether they didn't wonder
why.
Bigfoot paid his purveyors on time—religiously—a very unusual thing
to do in a business where a restaurateur's real partners, more often than
not, are the suppliers who send him food and material on credit. Given
this, pity the poor soul who sent Bigfoot a second-best piece of
swordfish.
"What is it?" he'd tell them on the phone, playing the confused dumbo