Seeing You
Jean Valentine’s “Seeing You” was first published
in the 1990 January/February issue of American Po-
etry Review. Subsequently, the poem was included
in Valentine’s 1992 collection of poetry called The
River at Wolfand then republished in the collection
Door in the Mountain: New and Collected Poems,
1965–2003(2004).
Valentine often writes about her mother and
her lovers. “Seeing You” combines these two sub-
jects in an effort to show that the experience of get-
ting to know one’s mother and the intimacy of that
relationship are similar to the experience of one’s
relationship with a lover. In particular, revelations
of understanding—of truly “seeing” the mother or
lover physically and emotionally—are much the
same astounding turning points in life.
Valentine discusses in this poem a child’s de-
pendency on its mother for life and nurture as well
as the realization that, despite her love, the mother
has fears arising from the challenges of parenting.
The resulting appreciation of the commitment of
the mother deepens the relationship and brings joy
to the child. There is also joy in falling in love, in
getting to know another person who is absolutely
a glorious wonder. As Valentine expresses in “See-
ing You,” when one is in love, one wants to know
everything there is to know about the other person,
and so the impulse is to plunge into getting to know
the beloved, much as one plunges into a lake and
is immersed. The revelations are many, including
the experience of ultimate intimacy, of seeing each
other unclothed, literally and emotionally. “Seeing
Jean Valentine
1990
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