The Meta Model
The Meta Model is a therapeutic technique you can use to help
understand other people’s problems or help them understand their
own problems better. Literally, the Meta Model means to decon-
struct what someone is saying so you can find the underlying cause
of the problem.
It is often the case, that when someone has a problem, they subcon-
sciously already know what the solution is. It is also often the case
that they do not like the obvious solution, so they keep stirring the
problem in hopes that a new, better solution will come up. This is
very common in relationship problems. The Meta Model is designed
to deconstruct the way someone words their problem, to get to the bottom of it. For example:
Jim: Bro, my girlfriend can be SO annoying sometimes!
Basic Response: Why, what’s she doing?
This response (perhaps incorrectly) assumes the girlfriend is doing something specific to annoy Jim. To
get into the Meta Model, the response must make as few assumptions as possible.
Jim: Bro, my girlfriend can be SO annoying sometimes!
Meta Response: What exactly is happening when you find yourself feeling the most annoyed?
Deep Structure and Surface Structure
The reason we must make as few assumptions as possible, is that communication is not a clear-cut
procedure. When we communicate, it stems from various prompts such as emotions and memories
(deep structure), and sent through a web of cognitive processes before it leaves the speaker’s mouth
(surface structure). Therefore it stands to reason that it is not easy to 100% effectively communicate
the exact message we want to convey.
For example, if I was talking to a friend who I feel is being unreasonable about paying for his share of a
meal, and I want communicate it:
- My amygdala registers a feeling of unfairness and mild negativity.
- My thalamus notices this emotion, matches it with (blames it on) the current situation, sends it to
the hypothalamus for processing.