Mirroring
Mirroring is one of the (if not the) most useful NLP techniques there
are. If someone is very good at mirroring, it is very difficult to dislike
them.
Mirroring, while considered part of the NLP syllabus, has been used
innately by people throughout history. Even chimps (our genetic
ancestors) use mirroring within their groups. This begs the question,
why do I need to write about mirroring, if it’s so natural? Because
just like any other skill you can name, there are vastly different levels
of ability, and you can get much better by practicing.
Mirroring is simply the process of mimicking subtle behaviours with
whoever we are communicating. Before you go and start mimicking someone’s every word, be aware
that mirroring must be subtle as to appear to be unconscious! This is the difference between a good
conversation and a punch or slap.
Mirroring can be achieved by copying any of these things:
- Speech patterns
- Body language
- Vocabulary style or specific choices of words
- Pace, tempo, pitch, tone, volume
Some say that accents can be mirrored, but I don’t think this is true. If you mimic somebody’s accent,
it is immediately raised to conscious levels and stops being conducive to good communication and rap-
port.
Why Are So Many People Afraid of Spiders?
Just while we’re on the subject, spiders are often the subject of phobias. The most sound theory of
reasoning states that this is because spiders are so unusual compared to ourselves. Snakes, octopodes
and other creatures that are so different from ourselves are often the subject of fear. Yes, an octopus is
a scary thing, I do declare! If you turned around and there was a big purple octopus between you and
the door, would you pick it up and move it out of the way, or would you prefer someone else did that
for you? I digress, sorry.