So you think the games industry has reached that same point of stagnation?
Yes. Only they’re not even trying to get out; they haven’t even realized yet that there’s
a problem.
So I guess that’s what led to your leaving the games industry and starting
work on the Erasmatron.
Well, there were two factors in that. Yes, I had been steadily drifting away from the
games industry. The hallmark of that was the “Dragon Speech” I gave. That lecture
was... I’lljust tell you how it ended. In the lecture, I’d been talking about “the dragon”
as the metaphor for this artistic goal. And, right at the end of the speech, in essence I
stopped talking with the audience and had a conversation directly with the dragon. I
said, “And now that I have finally devoted myself heart and soul to the task of pursuing
the dragon, all of a sudden, there he is, I can see him brightly and clearly.” I began talk-
ing to the dragon, and that was intense. I can’t remember it exactly, but I said something
like, “You’re mighty, you’re powerful, you’re beautiful, but you’re oh so ugly. Yes, yes,
you frighten me,” and then I screamed, “You hurt me! I’ve felt your claws ripping
through my soul!” I wasn’t lecturing any more, this was much more acting. I let out that
line “you hurt me” with great passion, and it frightened the audience. They weren’t
used to that level of passion in the technical lectures that they were familiar with. And
then I said, “I’m not good enough to face you, I’m not experienced enough, so I’m going
to do it now. I’ve got to go face to face with you, eyeball to eyeball, and I’m going to do it
now, here.” I reached over and I pulled out a sword and I kind of hunkered down and
shouted in a battle cry, “For truth, for beauty, for art, charge!” I went galloping down the
center aisle of the lecture hall, and I never came back.
This was at the Computer Game Developers Conference?
Yes. A lot of people thought, “Well, Chris gave his swan song, he’ll never come back.”
But in fact I came back the next year, and I had every intention of continuing to lend my
expertise: “I’m going off in this other direction, but you guys need my help, and I will
still be there.” Unfortunately, a whole ugly incident with the conference board mem-
bers put an end to that. What was so hurtful was not just the behavior of the board
members, but also the attitude of the community, which was, “Hey, this is Silicon Valley,
you just gotta fight to get yours. If they play hardball, what’s the big deal?” My reaction
was, “I just don’t want to be a part of this nasty community.” It was so bitter an experi-
ence that moving to Oregon was an imperative. I had to get out of Silicon Valley. And it’s
funny, every time I go down there now, I can see the Silicon Valley greed all around me.
It really bothers me.
So that drove you into working on the Erasmatron?
I had been evolving in that direction. But what made it a negative move was A, the
industry was editorially going in directions I did not like, and B, the industry was going
in moral and social directions that I did not like.
272 Chapter 14: Interview: Chris Crawford