World Soccer - UK (2021-10)

Twostarsor

four?...Uruguay’s

currentcrest

Wrexham...the

sourceofthe

signis a mystery

REPORTSWECOULDN’TMAKEUP

1

FCHOLLYWOOD

AFCWrexham of the

NationalLeagueweretaken

overby filmstarsRyanReynolds

andRob McElhenneyearlierthis

year, with theactorshopingto

transformtheclubonandoff the

pitch.Onechangethathasbeen

madeisthearrivalofa Hollywood-

styleWrexhamsignata collierytip

overlookingtheNorthWalestown.

Whois behindthesignhowever,

isa mystery;the clubhavedenied

beinginvolved,with theculprit

choosingtoremainanonymous.

2

SHEERTALENT

Wrexhamaren’ttheonlyclub

withcelebritybackers.Pop

starEdSheeranproved hisIpswich

Town-supportingcredentialsby

sponsoringthe LeagueOneclub’s

shirtsforthisseason,andthe club

havedecidedtothankhimby

grantinghima shirtnumberand

placeinthesquad.Presumably

Sheeranwon’tactuallybecalled

uponintheTractorBoys’promotion

chase,althoughhewouldn’tbe

thefirstmusiciantoplayforhis

boyhoodclub– OneDirectionstar

LouisTomlinsonhasappearedfor

DoncasterRovers’reserve side.

3

LISBON RIVALRYHEATS Up

WhenSportingsoldJoao

MariotoInterin 2016 , they

inserted a “rivals”clause,statingthat

theywouldbedueanextra€30m

ifthe midfielderwaslatersoldtoa

Portugueseclub.Toavoid this,ithas

beenreported thatMariobought

outhisowncontractfor€7m,which

wasthenreimbursedbyBenfica.To

addtothecontroversy, Marioeven

turneddowna return to Sporting

after winninglastseason’s titlewhile

there on loan,choosingtojointheir

biggestrivalsinstead.ThePortuguese

championsare readytofightfor the

moneytheybelievethey’re owed.

4

CHILEAN

SENSATION

Ifyou weren’tawarethat

Blackburn RoversstrikerBen

Brereton“Diaz”hadswitchedhis

internationalallegiancetoChile,you

couldbeforgivenforbeingconfused

byhim starringina Pepsiadvertin

the South Americancountry. “Why

notbreaktheestablished?”asksthe

formerEnglandUnder-20manin

thesoftdrinkad,before announcing

tooneofthe Queen’s Guardthat

heisgoingtoChile,pattinghimon

theshoulderasheleaves.

5

#BATSMANRISES

Football clubsarealways

tryingtofind weird and

wonderfulwaystoannouncenew

signings,andTurkishchampions

Besiktasledthewaythissummer.

After capturingChelseaandBelgium

strikerMichyBatshuayionloan,

theyfilmed theirowninterpretation

ofTheDarkKnight,withBatshuayi

donninga Batmancostumesaying:

“Iscore withouttrying...I’mthe

goddamnBAT-SHUAYI.”

6

TWO-STARQUARREL

Inwhatcanonlybe

describedasa gloriously

petulantdispute,FIFA have fallen

outwith theUruguayan FA over

howmanystarstheycaninclude

ontheirkit.Currently,the South

Americansidehavefour, marking

thetwoOlympicgoldmedalsthey

wonin the 1920 s,plusa pairof

WorldCups. Kit-makersPumasaid

thatthey’dbeenaskedtoremove

thetwoOlympicstars,butAUFvice-

presidentGaston Tealdiresponded:

“FIFAhasalwaysrecognisedthat

Uruguay hasfourWorldCups,

becausein 1924 and 1928 it [the

Olympicfootball tournament]

wasorganisedbyFIFA.” Theissue

willneedtoberesolvedbynext

year’sWorldCup in Qatar.

GlobalfootballintelliGence

fora Ligue 1 season,setin 1959 -60,
could be underthreat.
Butthatreallyshouldbealmost
a given.TherealtestofPSG will
comeinthespring,intheChampions
League.Andthere,itreallyisn’tclear
howmuchofa benefitMessiwillbe.
PSGmaybebetter equippedtowin
theChampionsLeaguethisseason
thanlast, perhapsthaneverbefore,
butiftheyareit is becauseofthe
othersigningstheyhavemade,
notbecauseofMessi.
Full-backwasan area of major
concern;AchrafHakimiwill clearlybe
animprovement there.SergioRamos
willaddsteelanda winningmentality,
whileGianluigiDonnarummaand
GiniWijnaldumincreasethe options
ingoalandcentral midfield.All of
themanswer a clearneedinthe
squad,andinDonnarumma’scase
perhapsgivingPSG a high-class
keeperforadecadeormore.
Messibringsattention andgoals.
Butgoals were neverthe problem
forPSG.A farbiggerissuewasthe
waytheexistingforward line left
itsmidfieldexposed.Againstmost
sides,weightoftalentwillout,but
PSGwerecomfortably beatenby
ManchesterCityintheChampions
Leaguesemi-finallastseason,just
asthe previousseasontheyhad
beenbeatenfarmore comfortably
byBayerninthe ChampionsLeague
final thanthe 1 -0scorelinesuggested.
Addingallthetalentintheworld
won’t changethatunlessplayers
arewillingandableto press.Messi
usedtodothat,buteveninPep
Guardiola’sfinalseasonatBarca
hewas struggling.Barca’s recent
ChampionsLeaguehistoryisa story
ofheavydefeats:4-0toPSGand
3-0toJuventusin 20 17, 3 -0toRoma
in 2018 , 4-0toLiverpoolin 2019 ,
8-2to Bayernin 2 02 0,and 4-1to
PSGin 2 02 1.Inpartthatisbecause
ofa slowmidfield,butit’sbecause
thatdeficiencywas exposedby
a dysfunctionalsystemthat
beganwiththeforward line.
LionelMessimay be thegreatest
player there haseverbeen,butthat
doesn’tmake himtheanswerto
PSG’s biggest problem.