Principles of Marriage and Family Ethics

(Chris Devlin) #1

silent. Their marriage then loses itswarmth and they might resort to
divorce.


Remember that adivorceis harmful toboth parties becausestarting
anewlifeisnotsoeasy.Happiness cannotbe guaranteedafterdivorce.
Therefore,strictnessisnotalwaysusefulandoftenresultsinundesired
eventswhichonecanreadaboutinthemedia.Thebestwayistoremain
moderateandtoactlogically. Forgiveallthe trivialandnon-deliberate
mistakesofyour wife.Thereisnoneedtoshoutatsomeone foramis-
takewhichhashappenederroneously.Ofcourse,onecanalwaysadvise
others in order to help them not to repeat their mistakes.


Peoplemakemanymistakesoutofignorance,soitisbettertoadvise
them patiently to correct their incorrect deeds or opinions. Therefore,
yourwifecannotbeforcedintocorrectinghermistakes,butinsteadyou
shouldexplainhermistake anditsharmful effectslogicallysothat she
couldchooseherselfnottorepeatthatactionagain.Thusnotonlyyour
mutualrespectremainsasbefore, butitwouldalsopreventthe repeti-
tion of the same, mistakes.


Itis wiseforamantologicallystophiswife frommaking mistakes,
but if she persistently makes error then again he should forgive and
overlookthem.Itiswrongforhimtosetaboutpunishingherortryingto
proveherguiltinordertomakeherapologetic.Thisisbecausewomen
arestubbornbynature,andimproperstrictnessmakesthemreactmore
severelythanbefore.Thismightbefollowedbyunpleasantorevenhor-
rific events, such as divorce or murder.


Islamhasrecognisedthissensitivepointwheremenhavebeenmade
responsiblefortheirwomen.Imam Ali(AS)stated:'Copewith women
underallcircumstancesandspeaktothemwell;(andbydoingso)itmay
make their actions correct'." Imam Sadiq (AS) stated: 'It is a right of
(your)wifethat youtreather kindly,becausesheisunder yoursurety,
and you should feed and dress her, and forgive her ignorant deeds'.


Imam Sadiq(AS)wasasked: 'Whatrights awoman hasonher hus-
band,forwhich,ifheactedaccordingly,wouldberegardedasagood-
doer?'The Imam replied: 'He must provideher with food andclothes
and he should forgive her mistakes committed unknowingly'."'

Free download pdf