Principles of Marriage and Family Ethics

(Chris Devlin) #1

Some couples do not disagree onhaving a child butargue over the
time ofh4ving one. A woman or a manof this kindwould say: "One
mustbefreeatayoungageasachildwoulddepriveonefrombeingat
libertytoenjoyoneselfItisbettertowaituntillatertohaveoneortwo
children".Ifbothhusbandandwifearenotofthesameopinion,thenar-
guments would start make such marriages, end in a divorce.


Let us remember that if one wants children then this should be
achievedattheearliestpossibleage.Thisisbecausechildren bornfrom
youngparentsareinsomerespectsbetteroffthanthosebornfromolder
parents.Firstly,thesechildrenarehealthierandstronger.Secondly,since
they are from youngerparents, they can livefor more timewith their
parents.Theycanbebettereducatedandbroughtup.Butchildrenfrom
older parents might become deprived of their parents' guidance and
teachingsdueto theirdeath ordisability. Thirdly, children ofyounger
parentswouldreachanageofformingtheirownfamilyandtaking up
jobswhiletheir parentsare stillalive. Thusthey canbe agreatdealof
help to their parents when they are old.


Inbrief,havingchildrenatayoungageisbetterthanatanolderage.
Butthisisnotsoimportantthatitshouldcauserowsordivorce.Itisbet-
terforthehusbandorwifetoagreemutuallyandnotletitcreateariftin
their marriage.


Somecouplesdisagreeonthenumberofchildrentheywouldlike."A
woman,whileholdingababyinherarms,said:"Afterfouryearsofmar-
riageIhadtwodaughterswithmyhusband,butsincehewantedasonI
becamepregnantoncemoreandagaingave birthtoagirl.Inow have
threedaughters.My husbandworksina bankandhissalary doesnot
sufficeourfamily.He hasrecentlybeen insistingthatIshouldbecome
pregnantmanytimesuntilIgivebirthtoason.ButIamnotpreparedfor
thisbecausehisearningsarenot enoughforustoeducateourchildren
the way we want.I havetoldhimmany timesthat boys andgirls are
bothgood.IfearthatifIbecomepregnantagainIshallgivebirthtoan-
othergirl.Iamsurethathewouldagaininsistonhavinganotherchild.
We cannot agree on this matter and thus have taken our case to the
court'."


Itiscorrectthatprovidingforeducationandtrainingofmanychildren
isdifficultandthisisespeciallytrueinthecaseofthosewhoseearnings

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