Principles of Marriage and Family Ethics

(Chris Devlin) #1

Imam Sadiq(AS)askedaman: "Areyoumarried?" The manreplied
'no’.TheImamstated:"Iwouldnotliketostayunmarriedevenforone
night,even ifIweretoown thewholeworld'." TheHolyProphet (SA)
stated: "There has not been created any institution in Islam which is
more favoured and dearer to Allah than marriage."


Event thoughthe Compassionate Allah has endowed human beings
withsuchapreciousblessing,theydo notappreciateitandsometimes
duetoignoranceandselfishness,convertthiswarmandblessedunion,
intoadarkprisonorevenaburninHell!Itisduetoman'sownintoler-
ancethatthe membersof thefamilyhavetolivein thisdarkprisonor
that the sacred marital covenant has to be destroyed.


Ifacoupleisawareoftheirdutiesandactsaccordingly,thenahouse
wouldbeaplaceoffriendshipandwouldresembleheaven.But,ifthere
are family-differences and arguments, the family home, could truly
changeintoaprison.Familydifferencesareduetovariousreasons,such
aseconomicfactors, familybackgroundofthe manandwoman,living
environment, unwanted interference byfathers, mothers andrelatives,
and tens of other reasons.
Butaccordingtotheauthor,themostimportantfactoristheignorance
of husband and wife regarding their duties and un-preparedness for
theirmaritallife.Generally,inordertoaccomplishatask,expertiseand
readinessarenecessaryrequirements. Ifone lacks thenecessaryknow-
ledge and readiness, then one cannot successfully achieve his desired
goal. Thus,training classesare formed to educate people for different
tasks.


Expertise, readiness, andknowledge are alsoneeded in marriage. A
youngmanmustpossessenoughinformationabouthiswife'sprinciples
of valuesandinternal desires.He must alsobeaware ofmaritalprob-
lems and ways of solving them. He should not regard marriage as
merelybuyinggoods,orhiringamaid,buttoacknowledgeitasatreaty
offriendship,honesty,kindness,partnership,andco-operationinajoint
family life.


Ayoungwomanshouldalsobeawareofherhusband'sphilosophyof
lifeandwishes.Sheshouldnotconsiderthatmarriageislikeengaginga
servantforfulfilling needswithout anyterms andconditions;butasa
pledgeforpartnershipandco-operationinmakingeffortsforconducting

Free download pdf