Tensing your lips and biting back your words .................................
When you lock your jaw, your lips tighten. They pull back over your teeth in a
closed position. This expression is different from pursed lips because pursed
lips push forward.With tightened lips – whether you’re displaying signs of anger, frustration, or
demonstrating threatening behaviour – no one can doubt that you’re not to
be trifled with.Imagine that you’re at your company’s Annual General Meeting. In a room full
of differing opinions, personal agendas, and subterfuge, the tension rises.
Your lips tighten as your jaw locks into position. The tight lips keep the anger
from shooting out.Graeme was invited to attend a meeting at which several of the company’s key
decision-makers were present. Many of the points and positions that Graeme
heard were in direct contrast to his sense of the business. Although with his
own team Graeme expressed himself freely and encouraged exchange, in the
company meeting, where it was clear that outside contributions weren’t
welcome, he found himself holding back his thoughts. At one point he
observed his own behaviour, noticing that his mouth was in a tense line
across his face, with his lips rolled inward and his teeth pressing down on
them. The longer he held this position the more negative he felt.Changing thoughts and behaviours ...................................................
When you’re about to move to a different position, be it physically or men-
tally, your lips come into play. As you end one thought or action and are
about to begin another, your lips close, if only fractionally, indicating that
you’ve finished with one thought and are about to begin another.Observe a person whose mouth is in a tensed position. See if he experiences
a mood shift, expresses an unexpected thought, or abruptly changes his
point of view.Differentiating Smiles.....................................................................................
Smiling is universally recognised as a sign of happiness. Smiles come in a
wide variety ranging from signalling appeasement to that of the playful child.Chapter 6: Lip Reading 97