Body Language

A bouquet of your favourite flowers

A lover

Someone you don’t like but have to go through this gesture with regardless

You may have noticed some changes in the way your body moved according

to how you felt about what you were embracing. You may have felt mood

changes, too.

In addition to changing your posture, you can also use visualisation to gal-

vanise your spirits. To do so, visualise yourself at your most confident. What

do you look like? How does your voice sound? What feelings are you experi-

encing? Notice what’s going on around you. If other people are there, what

are they doing? How are they reacting to you? Make your visualisation as real

as you can. See yourself smiling, your eyes engaged, claiming your space,

demonstrating likeability, and moving with purpose. Having created this pic-

ture of yourself in your mind you can replicate it any time you’re feeling self-

conscious, insecure, or lacking in confidence. For further information about

visualisation techniques I suggest you refer to Neuro-linguistic Programming

For Dummiesby Kate Burton and Romilla Ready and Building Confidence For

Dummies by Kate Burton and Brinley Platts (both published by Wiley).

Confident people don’t always feel confident. They simply act as if they are.

Using Posture to Aid Communication .......................................................

I’m not saying that you can tell 100 per cent, exactly, precisely, and without a

doubt all the details of what someone is thinking by looking at her posture.

Chapter 7: Take It From the Torso 117

Whistling happy tunes

In Rogers and Hammerstein’s musical, The King

and I, Anna, an English widow, with her young

son, moves to Siam (now Thailand) to serve as

teacher to the King’s 26 children. Although

somewhat overwhelmed at the prospect, and

feeling less than confident, she knew that were

she to show her fear, she’d lose her authority

and the respect of the King. When they were

about to embark, her son asked if she were

afraid and, if so, how could she go through with

this adventure. She said that although she was

scared, she would act as if she were brave. In

the song ‘I Whistle a Happy Tune’, she sings,

‘While shivering in my shoes, I strike a careless

pose, and whistle a happy tune, and no one ever

knows I’m afraid.’ She knew that if she pro-

jected the image she wanted to create, people

would respond to her accordingly, and all would

be well. And it was. She gained the respect of

the King, the admiration of his courtiers, and the

love of his children.