If you carefully observe a group of individuals interacting you can tell their
degree of attention, involvement, relative status, and how they feel about one
another by the way each one positions her body in relation to the others.
People who are actively participating in the exchange lean towards one
another. Those who are reflecting on what’s going on pull back. The opposite
of the forward lean is the backward lean, which indicates fear and displea-
sure. Someone who’s not interested or is bored with the conversation may
slump and look in another direction.If someone is really angry not only does she scowl, she leans forward as well. If
someone is filled with happiness she smiles as her body moves forward. It’s as if
both people want to get further into the emotion. The expressions on the face
reveal the emotion. The lean of the body reveals the intensity of the feeling.Stand upright with your feet hip width apart, put your hands on your hips,
lean forward and frown. Now stand in the same position, slightly leaning back
and smile. Just by this slight change of posture and facial expression you
have conveyed two very different moods.When you’re at a meeting that’s lost your interest, sit forward in your seat
and rest your elbows on the table while you look at the speaker. This posture
both helps your energy rise and you to feel more engaged.Dicken was preparing for a job interview. He was feeling conflicted about the
interview because he was leaving his current job, not having progressed as
far in his career there as he’d wanted to. During a practice session he leant
back in his chair, letting his chest droop, and his head sink into his shoul-
ders. When he saw himself on video he realised the negative signals he was
giving out. I encouraged him to sit towards the front of the chair and lean for-
ward, letting his elbows rest on the table. When he saw himself again, he
observed how much more interested, engaged, and likable he seemed.Shrugging Signals .........................................................................................
A child avoiding telling you the truth adopts the wide-eyed, head-pulled-back
‘What? Who me?’ look as she raises her shoulders in disbelief. The student
who’s called on by the lecturer to summarise the chapter that hasn’t been
read, raises her shoulders in submissive apology. The person who wants to
show a complete lack of interest gives a disdainful lift of the shoulders as she
turns her head away. A submissive gesture, the shrug absolves the shrugger
of any responsibility and indicates apology, disbelief, and lack of interest.120 Part III: The Trunk: Limbs and Roots