Touching yourself: Hugs, strokes, and more ..................................
The way you touch yourself gives observers clues as to how you’re feeling.
Most self-touching movements provide comfort and are the unconscious,
mimed gestures of another person’s touch, as if you’ve divided yourself into
two people: The one who is providing the comfort, and the receiver of the
touch. Some of the more common include the following:Hugging or stroking yourself: When you were a child feeling distressed
or upset, your parents, or whoever was looking after you, would hold
you in their arms to comfort you. Now that you’re an adult, when you
feel self-conscious and insecure, and no one’s there to reassure you, or it
would be inappropriate to seek solace from another person, you hug or
stroke yourself to provide your own comfort and reassurance. The most
common self-touching actions are rubbing your neck, stroking your
arms, or fondling your face.
Half-hugs: Because, when you cross both arms across your body, you
show that you’re feeling afraid or defensive, you may adopt the half-hug
position instead. In this position, one arm crosses your body and holds
or touches the other arm, creating a partial barrier. Women typically use
this gesture more than men.Figure 8-1:
Crossed
arms with
thumbs up is
typical of
young, high-
flying males.
Chapter 8: Arming Yourself 129