Men aren’t very good at reading the signals properly:Men tend to mis-
interpret friendly behaviour for sexual interest because men have 10 to
20 times more testosterone than women.
Availability counts more than beauty: Men pursue a woman who may
not be the most sexually attractive as long as she gives off availability
signals. A beautiful woman with all the right physical attributes is left on
the shelf if she doesn’t appear to be interested. In a contest between
looks and signals, signals win hands down.Going courting: The five stages ........................................................
When you see someone you want to get to know better, the first order of busi-
ness is to get that person’s attention.
You go through a predictable pattern to the courtship sequence when you
see someone you think is cute, hunky, or simply appealing:
- Eye contact.
The woman looks across a crowded room. She spots a man she finds
attractive. She waits for him to notice her. She focuses her eyes on his
for three–five seconds and then looks away. He watches to see what she
does next. She looks at him again, and at least one more time. When a
man sees a woman who catches his eye he glances at her body first.
After he makes eye contact with her he slightly narrows his eyes and
holds the gaze somewhat longer than he normally would, indicating his
interest. - Smile.
The woman flashes a fleeting smile or two. This is a hint of a smile with a
promise of things to come rather than a toothy grin. It’s important that
the man responds to this signal or else the woman will think that he’s
not interested and will move her sights. A man establishes eye contact
with a woman and lifts his chin slightly as he smiles, inviting her to
engage with him. - Preen.
The muscles of both men and women become slightly tensed. Her pos-
ture straightens, accentuating her physical attributes. If seated, she
crosses her legs to show them off. If she’s standing she shifts her hips
and tilts her head to expose her neck. She plays with her hair, runs her
tongue over her lips, and adjusts her clothes and jewellery. A man may
straighten his stance, pull in his stomach, push out his chest, adjust his
clothes, and touch his hair. Both point their bodies towards one another.
Chapter 13: Dating and Mating 215