on hips and jaw jutted forward, you turn yourself into a threatening force.
Turn your shoulder to the person, cross your arms, and look down your nose
at him, and you indicate that he’s not up to scratch. Turn your back com-
pletely on him, and pray he doesn’t stick anything in it as a response to your
dismissive attitude.
To create a more positive interaction, stand facing another person at a
comfortable distance, with your arms open, your hands visible, and a
welcoming expression on your face, and see how constructive the mood
becomes. Sit or stand side by side at a distance that feels right for your rela-
tionship, and sense the connection. Both consciously and subconsciously
you’re adjusting your body position in response to what’s happening in your
environment.
To make a positive impression, hold your head up, keeping your chin parallel
to the ground. Let your eyes engage and sparkle. Allow yourself to smile. Free
your shoulders and permit your chest to open as if it were a plane about to
take off. Breathe from your abdomen. Ground yourself.
Creating a relaxed attitude with the 45 degree angle ....................
The angle at which you position yourself in relation to another person
impacts upon the outcome of your communication. If you want your interac-
tion to be comfortable, cooperative, and congenial, place yourself at a 45
degree angle to the other person.
The benefit of sitting at a 45 degree angle to another person is that the posi-
tion encourages openness and trust (see Figure 14-1). By positioning yourself
at this angle, you form a third point where you avoid being perceived as
aggressive or flirtatious. Whereas face to face is confrontational, and side by
side is intimate, placing yourself halfway between the two creates an atmos-
phere of confidence and equality. Neither confrontational nor intimate, the 45
degree angle allows people to see one another, gesture freely, and maintain a
comfortable space between themselves.
The 45 degree angle is a cooperative space. It encourages discussion and
flow of ideas. It’s perceived as a neutral territory. The third angle allows
another person to join you in the space, creating an equilateral triangle. If a
fourth person enters the group he forms a square. Should the group expand
by one or two more people, they may form a circle, or divide themselves into
two triangles.
Chapter 14: Interviewing, Influencing, and Playing Politics 235