- Open your chest as if it were a treasured book.
- Look the questioner in the eye.
- Pause.
- Answer.
Emma worked in the HR department of a city law firm. She was ambitious and
wanted to progress in her career. She received feedback telling her that her
superiors weren’t taking her seriously. She was told that, although she was a
very pleasant person to have around and worked well organising events
behind the scenes, when it came to working directly with clients, she seemed
unorganised, flighty, and unsure of herself. When Emma came to me she had
an abundance of nervous energy that was creating the image the clients had
described. She shifted her weight from leg to leg and slouched into her hips.
Her shoulders stooped and her hands fidgeted. She tossed her head and fre-
quently giggled. She found it difficult to establish and maintain eye contact.
Her words said she wanted to progress. Her body language said she wasn’t
up to the job. Working with the camera where she could see herself, Emma
discovered how her gestures and behaviour were impacting upon people’s
perceptions of her. By adjusting her stance she stood taller. By controlling
her breathing her actions calmed down. By opening her chest she filled her
space. Her fidgeting lessened and she began to project the image she wanted.
Emma’s new presence looked, and sounded, confident and credible. She
received the promotion she sought.Picking the power seats.....................................................................
Without beating around the bush, the message is this: Stay away from seats
that make you look small, awkward, and insignificant. These seats are the
kind where you’re forced to look upward, lifting your chin and exposing your
neck, which happens to be one of the most vulnerable parts of your body.
The person on the other chair is sitting upright and in control. Even if he’s
leaning back in his chair he’s still in a higher position than you. He can look
down on you along the length of his nose. He can lower his glasses, looking
over the top at you, all cramped, awkward, and feeling uncomfortable. Stay
away from those chairs!The height of the back of the chair
The higher the back of the chair, the higher the status of the person it
belongs to. The person with the support behind his back, the protective
shield, the frame that surrounds him, holds a more powerful position than
the person sitting on a stool at his feet. Kings and Queens, Popes and
Presidents, chief executives and oligarchs, sit in chairs that reflect their
power and position. The higher the back of the chair, the more luxurious the
fabric, the higher the status of the person.238 Part IV: Putting the Body into Social and Business Context