relation to another person. This behaviour can be traced to the animal king-
dom where creatures under attack cringe and crouch to protect themselves.In Japan you can tell a person’s status in relation to another’s by how long
and low she bows. Someone holding a lower status bows lower and longer. If
equals are bowing to one another they match one another’s bows. If one of
the people wants to show more respect she adds an extra bow. The Japanese
also add another bow for someone who is much older, as well as for a cus-
tomer whose business they are hoping to get.When you’re bowing to someone who holds a higher rank than you, make
sure that you out bow her and keep your eyes respectfully lowered. If you’re
unsure of who holds the higher status, bow slightly less low than the other
person. When bowing to a Japanese person your hands slide down the front
of your legs towards your knees, or down the sides of your legs. Your back
and neck is held stiffly and your eyes are averted.If you’re ever reprimanded in front of someone in a higher position of author-
ity make yourself look small. By showing deference you may calm troubled
waters.Standing to attention .........................................................................
Standing with a straight back, legs close together with your weight distrib-
uted evenly between them, arms by your sides, and your hands remaining
still, is a sign of deference. If you’ve ever been called into the head teacher’s
office, stood up in court, or served in the military you know the position. You
look straight ahead and don’t move a muscle until you’re spoken to.My sister Paula and I were taught from an early age to stand up when an adult
entered the room. We were also taught to look her in the eye, shake hands
firmly, and say a polite ‘hello’. This rule also applied when we were dining out
and an adult stopped by the table to say hello. When we became adults, we
were permitted to remain seated, although the men at the table were expected
to stand. To this day, I still feel compelled to stand when an older person enters
a room. This was a sign of respect and always brought parental approval.Positioning and Setting Boundaries...........................................................
In some countries the common and expected behaviour is for people to stand
close to each other, whereas in others a wide berth between people is the
norm. For example, in Argentina people stand close to one another. If you
back away they may think that you’re shy and move closer to fill the gap.
Australians, however, require a lot of space between themselves – if you get
closer than an arm’s length away an Aussie feels hemmed in.Chapter 15: Crossing the Cultural Divide 249