Body Language

Watching for Head Movements ..................................................................

Observe someone nodding in agreement, understanding, or with the desire to

add her point of view to the speaker’s. The eyes look engaged, the head is

held upright, and her face is mobile. Slow nods tell you she’s following the

speaker, and fast nodding indicates a desire to jump into the conversation. A

shake of the head tells you she’s not buying the speaker’s opinion.

Cocked, canted, and tilted heads tell you the other person’s

Thinking about what’s going on

Contemplating a retort

Responding submissively

When you register head movements in combination with other gestures, such

as lip and eye actions, you’re better equipped to determine a person’s attitude

and its underlying message. Head to Chapter 3 for more on head movements.

Noticing Hand and Arm Gestures...............................................................

Look at a person’s hands for revealing gestures. If the fingers are tapping and

the nails bitten, you can be sure she’s filled with nervous anxiety. Someone

flapping her hands like Prissy in Gone With the Windis, well, in a flap!

When someone’s hand goes to her mouth, you’re safe in betting that she’s

holding back some kind of feeling, emotion, or attitude. And when her lips are

firmly sealed, she’s keeping her thoughts to herself.

Anyone rubbing her hands and licking her lips at the same time is feeling

happy and excited, as long as the speed’s up tempo. If the hand and lip rub is

slow and deliberate, be careful. This person may be dreaming up a scheme, cal-

culating her chances, or devising a strategy that benefits herself – and not you.

Arms crossed against the chest, hands tucked into the armpits, or a lowered

head and furrowed brow are not signs of a warm and welcoming person. Of

course, she may just be reacting to a cold blast of air. Opened arms, a

dropped-jaw smile, and an eyebrow flash conveys a sense of pleasure and

excitement, whereas a pointed finger wagging in your face belongs to some-

one who’s aggressive, controlling, and domineering. You may want to stay out

of that person’s way.

For more on hand and arm gestures, go to Chapters 8 and 9.

Chapter 19: Ten Ways to Find Out about Someone without Asking 279