Dipping and ducking ............................................................................
If you’ve ever walked between two people who are deep in conversation you
may have ducked your head down to keep from invading their space and to
apologise for any inconvenience you may have caused.Some people make a slight involuntary dip of their heads when they
approach another person they think is important or if that person’s involved
in a conversation with someone else.People who don’t care about status distinctions don’t usually display submis-
sive gestures. Those who feel they’re intruding on important people excuse
themselves with a slight dip of the head.Marsha is an American living in London. She’s an active and successful fund
raiser for several high-profile aid organisations. In acknowledgement of her
contributions to the charity sector she was invited to attend a reception at
Buckingham Palace attended by Queen Elizabeth and other high-ranking
members of the Royal family. She was told that when she was introduced to
the Queen she was expected to make a formal curtsey. Marsha found that
expectation difficult to digest. Although she respects the Queen for the
service she has shown to her country, she doesn’t acknowledge status differ-
entiations and is loath to demonstrate submissiveness to anyone, even the
Queen. Although she didn’t perform a full curtsey, out of respect she did give
a slight head bow when introduced to the Queen.Cradling for comfort ............................................................................
The memory from our infancy and childhood of being held and comforted
during times of distress lingers and lives in our adult lives. The sensation of
having the back of the neck supported creates a sense of security. In times of
insecurity people can often be observed with their hands holding the back of
their necks (see Figure 3-3). Subconsciously, they’re protecting themselves
from real or imagined threats. This gesture provides comfort and reassurance.Bob attended an all-day company board meeting during which discussions
became heated. At one point during the afternoon he noticed that his chair-
man sat back in his seat, put his hands behind his head, and began to rub his
neck. He then changed positions, moving forward in his chair, rested his
elbows on the table, and continued massaging his neck. After a few moments,
he clasped his hands on the table, took a deep breath, and addressed the
group with new-found focus and purpose. He seemed to have become re-
energised by the few moments of self comfort.56 Part II: Starting at the Top