Recognising Facial Expressions that Reinforce the Spoken Message .....
As with all gestures, what your face reveals is going to be believed more than
the words you say. Flash your eyebrows in recognition of someone whose
company you enjoy, frown when reading your child’s school report, smile as
a loved one approaches you, and your facial expressions match your verbal
message.
Tell your daughter-in-law how happy you are to see her while your facial
expression says that you’ve been sucking on a lemon or you’ve been frozen in
cold water, and don’t be surprised if she holds back from you.
Open facial gestures – in which your eyes are engaged, your mouth is relaxed,
and your head is tilted with interest – are safe and inviting. Working in combi-
nation with positive language and a well-modulated voice, your facial ges-
tures confirm the spoken message. When you’re speaking or listening and
you want to indicate that you’re open to the other person and are prepared
to give him a chance, make sure that your facial expressions are open and
match your verbal expressions. Conflicting gestures send mixed messages.
To develop a well-modulated voice that represents you at your best, start by
breathing correctly. Allow yourself to breathe from your abdomen, like a new-
born baby. After you’ve mastered that technique, begin to hum to relax and
develop your vocal chords. A well-modulated voice resonates and rises from
a firm foundation.
Myles’s girlfriend, Laura, lives near Manchester and Myles lives in London.
Because of the distance between the two cities, Laura stays for several days
when she visits Myles, who lives at home with his mother, Tina. Tina thinks
Laura is a pleasant girl and appreciates the care and attention she’s shown
Myles. Since they’ve been dating, Myles’s self-confidence has grown and Tina
acknowledges that Laura is largely responsible for that. However, Tina doesn’t
like Laura’s over-dependence on Myles and the lack of initiative she demon-
strates when she’s visiting. Tina initiates the conversations and asks Laura for
her help when she’s getting dinner on the table. Laura has a bit of a whine in
her voice, which Tina also finds annoying. Laura told Myles that she didn’t
think his mother liked her. Although Tina does like certain aspects of Laura’s
personality, there are parts that she doesn’t. Tina thought that she was
demonstrating openness in the way she engaged with Laura. What she didn’t
realise was that her facial expressions weren’t as open as she believed and
Laura was picking up on that.
Chapter 4: Facial Expressions.........................................................................................
