Chapter 5
Chapter 5: The Eyes Have It ............................................................................................
In This Chapter
Understanding the power of the held gaze
Avoiding looking at another person
Reading the messages – how eyes tell a tale
B
ecause much of our face-to-face time with people is spent looking at
their faces, the signals they send out with their eyes play a vital part in
revealing their thoughts and attitudes. In fact, of all our body language sig-
nals, the eyes reveal our thoughts and emotions most accurately: They’re
placed in the strongest focal position on the body, and because the pupils
respond unconsciously to stimuli they can’t be artificially manipulated or
controlled (well, you can artificially increase pupil size with belladonna but
that’s going a bit far).Your eyes are the gateway to the soul and reflect what’s going on inside of
you. They’re also the means of seeing what’s going on inside of someone else.
Some people instinctively know how to use their eyes to their own advan-
tage, to garner sympathy, convey sexual interest, or to deliver the message,
‘Stay away!’ With practice, your eyes can speak the messages you mustn’t say
aloud. This chapter looks at the role that eyes play in communicating your
feelings and intentions. You discover how to use your eyes to command
attention, display interest, show disapproval, create intimate feelings, and
demonstrate dominance. And because communication – even with eyes – is a
two-way street, I tell you how to read the eye signals that others give you.The Power of the Held Gaze .........................................................................
Establishing and maintaining eye contact comfortably with another person
can be the basis for successful communication, giving you and the person
you’re communicating with a feeling of wellbeing and trust. But sometimes,
eye contact can be uncomfortable, such as when the other person seems dis-
honest, untrustworthy, or angry. Whether the interaction is comfortable or
not has to do, in part, with the way that a person looks, or doesn’t look, at