instructions in situations which you could have worked out on your own if
you‘d wanted. It‘s human nature to look for an existing ̳proper‘ way of doing
something new rather than simply applying our minds and creating our own
way.
That it‘s human nature to seek approval from others also means it‘s our
nature to crave ―conformity‖. This drive is so powerful that even if we‘re not
involved in an activity ourselves but see someone else doing something
differently than the way we think proper, we often suggest our way. Even if
we‘re annoyed when others tell us how to do things, we often end up doing
the same—when we think ours is the ―right‖ way.
As a result, most people just follow the patterns established by others.
Even if we identify and follow the standards of a specific sub-group rather than
the majority, we are still following someone else‘s lead.
This idea is obvious in areas like fashion—there are very specific looks that
people adopt to ̳fit‘ with the group with which they identify. However, it also
carries across all areas of life, from large abstract ideas like political beliefs to
small concrete actions like how we make eye contact.
The Strength To Be Yourself
Our natural pull to ―conform‖ may seem obvious, and the explanation is so
simple it may also seem obvious... but even so, we don‘t even notice most of
the ways we conform. And the impulses behind it are buried in our
subconscious... conforming is so natural that it goes by unnoticed.
But the real magic is what you can do if you can OVERCOME it.
When you act in a ―non-conformist‖ way, you are acting based on YOUR
beliefs. As long as you appear to know what the ̳normal‘ way is but have
actively chosen to be different, you‘re expressing self-confidence on a very
subtle level. To act differently than what‘s normally expected means that you
are strong and value your own beliefs.
The pressure to conform is usually subconscious, so most people don‘t
even think of questioning whether following the norm is really best for them.
Even when someone does notice this external pressure, very few are able to
overcome it. Understanding the reasons behind conformity, however, makes it
a lot easier to leave it behind.
People who aren‘t part of the ―in crowd‖ usually try to ACT like the people
who are in the ―in crowd‖. They think that acting cool will make them cool...
and then lead to them being accepted by the cool people that they admire.
But not the guy who GETS IT. A guy who lives in his own reality doesn‘t
care what others think of him, and he doesn‘t take it as a personal reflection of