- Openly joke about or trivialize the conflict (but be internally upset)
- Overwhelm their opponent with monologue
Motivators are quite uncomfortable in confronting conflicts, which go
against the grain of their “take life in stride” nature. Motivators are good at
rallying people to their cause and trying to win by virtue of a majority. They
are also inclined to use superficial fixes by making light of the situation,
restoring an air of amicability. Motivators avoid people whose tone commu-
nicates anger, frustration, or impatience. Criticism is often taken as a threat
to their image, and they may respond by attacking the adversary or venting
their frustrations. Motivators may also act as if the problem is solved (in
hopes that it will pass), when there is still an undercurrent of conflict.
In conflict scenarios with the Motivator personality style, we should:- Approach clients in a friendly and positive fashion
- Use self-deprecating humor to ease tension
- Frame a weapproach to the conflict instead of an Ior youapproach
- Ask for their thoughts and ideas for resolution and listen without
interruption
STAYING IN THE COMFORT ZONES
As illustrated in this chapter, much of the tension and conflict we ex-
perience with others is a result of a naïve and misdirected focus—we focus
on whathappened instead of whyit happened. When we look below the sur-
face of people’s actions and reactions, we see deep-seated personality pat-
terns. Learning to recognize these personality tendencies gives us a great
deal of leverage in placating and resolving conflict situations.
The emotionally intelligent sales professional recognizes that each per-
sonality has an idiosyncratic comfort zone and that there will be conflict
when those zones of comfort are violated. With such recognition comes
opportunity. The opportunities are for us to demonstrate that we under-
stand our clients’ specific needs for security and to demonstrate our own
flexibility to meet them at their point of comfort.
SELLING WITH EQ
•Throttle back your conflict impulses to squelch the conflict.
•Pay attention to personality quirks, especially in conflict.
•Take the high road and appeal to people’s better instincts in conflict
scenarios.230 SELLING WITH EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE