viiINTRODUCTION
“Only that day dawns to which we are wide awake.”
—HENRY DAVID THOREAUHave you ever met someone who is really smart but really stupid? Of
course you have. Now, ask yourself what they are lacking. Common sense?
People smarts? Relational insight? Can’t see the forest for the trees? The
individual you thought of probably is quite intelligent but lacks in what
author Daniel Goleman calls emotional intelligence.
Goleman’s landmark work demonstrated that emotional intelligence
(EQ) has a far greater weighting on a person’s potential for success (
percent) than does IQ (15 percent). Those findings turned historical aca-
demic assumptions about success attributes on their head—and went a
long way toward affirming common sense. Success is, in large part, due to
how well we manage emotion.
When reading Daniel Goleman’s book, Emotional Intelligence, in the
mid-1990s, I was struck with the relevance of his insights for those in the
sales profession. I initially developed a sales training program based upon
these principles (the ARROW Program) and consequently, through the en-
couragement of an editor, was sold on the idea of writing this book. I am
convinced that nowhere are the dramas of emotional intelligence played
out more vividly than on the sales stage.
One of the inexorable truths of competition is that when clients have
a choice, they choose the option with the least amount of emotional ex-
haustion and annoyance. The more competitive an environment is, the
more emotional intelligence—or the lack thereof—is brought into sharp
focus. At such times, vendors bringing any degree of emotional annoyance
will be brought face-to-face with their own manners and approaches. That
awareness will come either through personal introspection—or through
their boss’s inspections.
The pleasantness of the purchasing process depends largely upon
our skill of making people feel at ease both with us and the process we
are introducing. Some salespeople have acquired and refined these skills,