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The Principles of Emotional Intelligence•Distraction and diffusion are keys to containing negative emotions.- Learning to take emotional responsibility helps to de-escalate nega-
tive impulses.
“I’ve always had a problem with becoming sarcastic and con-
descending when I am upset with someone. I knew it was a nega-
tive pattern and destructive to relationships, but I couldn’t seem to
contain it in the heat of battle. One day I saw a mature colleague,
who was being confronted in a tense situation, calmly put his hand
to his chin, get up, and walk away saying, ‘Hmmm, I need to think
about this.’
“I observed this and thought, ‘If that had been me, I would
have torn into that ignoramus on the spot.’ I later asked my col-
league about it, and he said, ‘Like you, I thought of some clever re-
torts and put-downs, but I’ve found that there isn’t much percentage
in speaking them out loud. I always put my hand on my chin be-
cause it reminds me to think—and I just walk away and tell myself
to try to find the humor in the situation. Then, when I’m in a bet-HOW TO PREVENT AND
CONTAIN NEGATIVE
OUTBURSTS