12.2
BUILDING TRUST INTO WORKING
RELATIONSHIPS
Inspired by Stephen Covey, James Kouzes, Barry Posner, Earnie Larson, Harriet Lerner, and Fernando Bartolomé.“If only we had more trust,” leaders say, as if it somehow depends on fate. It doesn’t. Although
trust cannot be controlled, it can be built within workgroups. Low trust has a devastating effect
on communication and teamwork, often manifested in withholding of information, rejecting
others’ information, or withholding discretionary effort. These behaviors reinforce low trust,
eliciting similar behavior from others, to confirm their suspicions.
Trust presents a paradox in that it needs to be earned, but in order to be earned, it first has
to be given. This tool provides essential how-to’s for developing trust within organizations.
In some organizational cultures, it is easy to be trusting because of the general atmosphere
of trust. In dog-eat-dog cultures, trusting a little is an act of courage. In these low-trust atmo-
spheres, you may wish to become what Alan Wilkins calls a “border guard,” creating an enclave
of trusting behavior within your leadership group. Although trust is measured by what you
actually do, trust does not require that you be naive and regularly be taken advantage of.
Neither should you fall into the trap of writing people off on the basis of personal chemistry
or personality, dismissing them into a category unworthy of trust. To obtain trust, remember
that “the best way to get model behavior is to model the behavior.” [☛1.8 Recursive
Leadership]
GUIDELINES FOR UNDERSTANDING TRUST
Here are ten guidelines that will help you understand the nature of trust.
366 SECTION 12 TOOLS FORLEADINGRELATIONSHIPS
If trust is broken, it’s hard to repair. That’s not to say that, given the right circumstances,
it’s impossible to win back. Given a basic respect and goodwill between people and
willingness to work on their relationship, trust can be regained. But it takes a lot of work.
Courage and vulnerability are especially difficult if you’ve experienced strong betrayal in
your life. Surprisingly, leaders who have never experienced strong betrayal may not have
learned to trust wisely. Trust means having given others the benefit of the doubt—”I will
trust these people until there is clear evidence that they cannot be trusted.”
If you want to be trusted as a leader, you must first give evidence that you’re trustworthy.
Trust isn’t based on your credentials (i.e., your experience or education). It’s based on your
relationships and what you do, particularly in difficult situations. Doing includes
demonstrating competence and being sincere and reliable.
Trust cannot be controlled, legislated, or forced. That doesn’t mean that leaders cannot
influence trust. What it does mean is that you need to do your best, but be prepared to let
go if your best isn’t good enough. Nobody is trusted by everyone, and some people aren’t
capable of trusting anyone.
Like relationships and communication, trust either grows or stagnates; it cannot be held
constant. You simply can’t put trust on autopilot. Trust needs to be demonstrated and
reinforced regularly or it slowly loses strength.Trust is delicate.It takes courage and
vulnerability to trust.Trust is based on what
you do.Trust cannot be
controlled.Trust has to be
constantly earned.Element of trust What this means in leadership practice