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Afro-Cuban religious rituals and ensuring the tomb is clean and the
grave-site is in good condition. Catholic masses of the deceased (misa
de difuntos) enjoy a very high degree of popularity in Cuba and are per-
formed at least once a week to full audiences. Moreover, usually three
years after the death, the family members of the deceased are required
to remove the remains of the deceased from the grave and take them
to the ossuary—an event that often results in a painful re-visiting of
grief and sorrow. All these practices continue the relationship between
the living and dead and are considered by Cubans as attending to the
deceased; taking care of a lost loved one.
Cuban funerals are best understood when examined in the context
of a longer ritual cycle that covers the whole of a person’s life. When
compared with other life cycle rituals, there are certain differences in
how funerals emphasize the matrifocal gender and kinship relations.
While other Cuban life cycle rituals tend to stress women’s ritual
agency, in funerals, men take on a more central position. Funerals also
blur the gender difference that forms a central social distinction in
everyday Cuban life and plays a key role in other life cycle rituals. In
funerals, gender is not highlighted in such a way—both men and
women become just a ser querido; a lost loved one.
Moreover, funerals merge other distinctions that are significant in
day-to-day social relations. Funerals blur the distinctions between the
matrilateral, patrilateral and affinal kinship relations that bear signifi-
cance in day-to-day interaction. When exploring on how the emphasis
of the Cuban matrifocal gender and kinship system in funerals differs
from that in other life stages, it becomes clear that in funerals, unity is
stressed rather than division. In funerals, being together, the impor-
tance of sharing painful moments, and the central significance of fam-
ily relations and sociability to Cubans in general, take precedence over
any other types of sentiments. Both the Catholic Church as well as the
socialist state participate in this process via providing important
funerary services to the mourning kin. In funerals, caring and sharing
become the central focus (see Stasch, 2009: 4) of Cuban social rela-
tions—the worst that can happen to a person is to die alone.