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118 CHAPTER 5off”). Other irrational ideas are based on perfectionist shoulds,
oughts, and musts (e.g., “I must be more successful than my
brother”). The problem is that most irrational ideas lead to negative
self-talk and negative emotional or physical consequences. Much of
an individual’s irrational thoughts can be changed to more rational
statements. Therefore, instead of saying, “I need a best friend,” you
can change the statement to “I would like a best friend, but I have a
number of people who like me. So, I don’t absolutely need a best
friend and can be happy with the friendships I have developed.” Here
is another irrational thought: “I’ll never do well in this class, every-
one is smarter than me!” You can change this thought by saying some-
thing like: “There are many bright students in this class, but if I use
the learning strategies I have been taught, I can compete with them.”
The following are eight irrational thinking patterns that influence
individuals’ emotions (McKay, Davis, & Fanning, 1997). As you read
them, think of situations where you used any of the irrational think-
ing patterns:- Filtering: You focus on the negative details while ignoring all
the positive aspects of a situation.
Example: Your boss in a summer job tells you that your work
is good, but he thinks you socialize too much with the other
personnel in the workplace. You go home thinking that your
boss doesn’t like you. - Polarized thinking: Things are black or white, good or bad.
You have to be perfect or you’re a failure. There’s no middle
ground, no room for mistakes.
Example: You have an argument with one friend and explain
the problem to the second friend. You tell the second friend:
“Either you support me or you are not my friend.” - Overgeneralization: You reach a general conclusion based on a
single incident or piece of evidence. You exaggerate the fre-
quency of problems and use negative global labels. Popular
phrases for overgeneralization are all, every, none, never,
always, everybody, and nobody.
Example: You break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend and
say: “No one will ever love me!” - Mind reading: Without their saying so, you know what people
are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you
have certain knowledge of how people think and feel about you.
Example: “She is acting that way toward me because she is
jealous of me.” - Catastrophizing: You expect, even visualize, disaster. You
notice or hear about a problem and start asking, “What if?”
“What if tragedy strikes? What if it happens to me?”