when modifiers are more complex than simple adjectives and adverbs, as in the
sentence below from Ernest Hemingway:
- Manuel swung with the charge, sweeping the muleta ahead of the bull, feet
firm, the sword a point of light under the arcs.
The modifiers here, which we discuss a bit later, are primarily verbal con-
structions, and their head word isswung.
The concept of head words is useful not only because it helps us when we
need to talk about modifiers and what they modify but also because of another
feature of modification, which sometimes is referred to as theproximity princi-
ple:Modifiers always should be as close to their head words as possible. Viola-
tion of this principle can result is what is termed a misplaced modifier, as in the
sentence below:
- ?Walking across the window, I saw a fly.
We certainly know that theflywas doing the walking here, not the subjectI,
but the placement of this modifier suggests the contrary.Flyis the head word
for the verb constructionwalking across the window,but the link is unclear be-
cause the physical distance between them in the sentence is too great. Mis-
placed modifiers of this sort are very common in the writing of young students.
Fortunately, such students easily understand the notion of head words and the
proximity principle after a little instruction.
Teaching Tip
The Hemingway sentence is interesting because it illustrates an important fea-
ture of narrative-descriptive writing. Notice that the independent clause is rather
short and not very rich in details. The description comes in the form of the
phrasal modifiers attached to the clause: “sweeping the muleta ahead of the
bull, feet firm, the sword a point of light under the arcs.” Christensen (1967)
called such sentences “cumulative” because of the way they are built up
through a process of adding details. When students have opportunities to prac-
tice producing cumulative sentences, they show significant improvement in
their writing skills. Use a piece of narrative-descriptive writing as a model for
analysis to show students how details are built up on the base of the independ-
ent clause. Then ask them to observe a repetitive process, such as cars passing
through an intersection, people moving forward in a queue, or water going
downasinkdrain.Havethemdescribetheprocessinnomorethantwocumu-
lative sentences. The goal is to produce cumulative sentences rich in detail.80 CHAPTER 3