it feels like thelevelsshouldhave
opened up toyou,theleveldesign
still feels coldandhostile.Youhaveto
wait for platformstocometoyou,for
timers to align,forenergypelletsto
traverse to theirdestination.Of
course it’s possibletoplayitfast
- there are bothspeedrunsfor‘fastest
times’ and ‘fewestportals’–butthere
are only set waysyoucanactonthe
world. You canpressbuttons,and
you can shootportals.Tryingtorush
parts of the testprematurelywillat
best fail, and atworstgetyoukilled.
Thesenseofonlybeingacogina
machineisoppressive–andwhile
themessagesarealittleoff,GlaDOS’
presenceearlyonisimpliedtobe
thatofasetofpre-recorded
messages,simplyrepresenting
ApertureScience.She’stherobotyou
talktoonthetelephonewhiletrying
tofindarealagent,ifthatrobothad
thecapacitytosnipeatyouasmuch
asyoumightwanttosnipeatit.
You’refunctionallyalone.
Increasingly,it’snotonlythe
designoftheteststhatarehostile
- inaninteriordesignsortofsense
- buttheteststhemselves.Thefloor
inonewillkillyou,soyou’rewarned
totrytoavoidit.Cominginto
contactwithenergypellets,which
pingoffatregularintervals,willalso
killyou.Turrets,armedwith
laser-sights,willcertainlykillyou–
oratleastleavebloodspatteredup
thepristinewhitewallswhileyou
workouthowtodisarmthem.All
thewhile,GlaDOSoffersunhelpful
advice,butpromisestherewardof
cakeattheotherend.Cake,andin
oneinstance,griefcounselling.
Eventheinterstitialspaces
betweenlevelsarehostile,withthe
emancipationgrillsthatdissolveany
itemsyoutrytobringwithyou(and
mayemancipateyourfillings,crowns,
toothenamel,orteeth),butalsothe
lifts,whicharenotablylinedwith
paddedwalls.Invokingpsychiatric
wardsisn’tmyfavouritevisual
shorthandinhorror,particularly
whensomeofthecanonbackground
loreforApertureisclumsyinits
END CREDITS
The voiceofGlaDOSafterPortal
LEFT 4 DEAD
After Portal, EllenMcLain
took on the muchmore
laconic but equallyunsettling
role of the witchinLeft 4
Dead. The zombieisreadily
identified by hercries,and
her ability to ripyoutoshreds
when startled.
TURRETOPERA
McLainisalsotrainedasan
operasinger,andperformed
theariasungattheendof
Portal 2. Whilethemusic
wascomposedbyValve
composerMikeMorasky,
McLainimprovisedthe
Italianlyrics.
THECHURCHINTHE
DARKNESS
ThisseesMcLainworking
alongsideherhusbandand
fellowactor,JohnPatrick
Lowrie.Thecouplehavealso
starredinmultipleValve
gamestogether– although
notPortal.
EVENTHEINTERSTITIAL
SPACESBETWEENLEVELS
AREHOSTILE
EXTRA LIFE
NOW PLAYING I UPDATE I MOD SPOTLIGHT I HOW TO I DIARY I WHY I LOVE I REINSTALL (^) I M U S T P L A Y
‘Speedy thing
goes in, speedy
thing comes out.’
LEFT: (^) You only ever
get to see Chell
through portals like
this one.
ABOVE: If you know,
you know.
RIGHT: (^) The first of
the refuges behind
the walls.