The Sunday Times Magazine • 7of The Parent Trap. But when filming was over I’d be
back at my boarding school in England, where the
headmistress was determined I shouldn’t get above
myself just because I was “John Mills’s daughter”.
I won an Oscar in 1961 [for outstanding juvenile
performance] for Pollyanna. The stars were all there on
the night: Spencer Tracy, Katharine Hepburn, Alfred
Hitchcock ... But I was thousands of miles away in my
freezing dorm. My parents never mentioned it. Maybe
they wanted to protect me from turning into a movie
brat. But actually it had the reverse effect and I started
to feel guilty about my success, as if I didn’t deserve it.
I should probably have had a few years with a therapist,
but in my day it was rather frowned upon.
When your parents die they take a whole world with
them. Writing the book was the next best thing to
walking into the house where I grew up and finding my
mum and dad in the garden, sitting under the catalpa
tree. Crispian had a particularly close bond with my
father. He was a very wise child, always trying to find
answers, and he’s grown into a deeply thinking intuitive
man. Writing the book I’d recount all these stories
about my childhood and Crisp kept asking: “But how
did you feel? What were you thinking?” I hadn’t
thought much about my own feelings before.
I was desperate to give up acting when Crisp was
born. I’d worked nonstop since I was 12. But when
he was 18 months old I left his father and had to go back
to work. It was ghastly. The first time I went away
I sobbed and sobbed and turned back to London
about four times. It was like ripping out the umbilical
cord. But I was programmed to work.I was so distracted when my boys were growing up
[Hayley has another son, Jason, 45, with the actor Leigh
Lawson]. Not only running a house but my career and
dealing with all the horrible guilt I felt about going away
to work, it all felt too much sometimes. The best time
for me was when the boys went to bed and I had
nothing else to think about. I think both boys would say
I’m a better grandmother than I was a mother. I’ve got
more experience, more patience, more time.
Crispian and I have always had a strong bond. When
you go through turbulent, stormy times, it strengthens
your relationship. He has a wonderful sense of the
ridiculous and that’s how we connected when we were
going head to head. He’s a Capricorn and I’m an Aries,
so we are two horned beasts! Whatever our differences,
there has always been great love between us.
I think Crispian learnt from my mistakes. I leapt into
things, particularly relationships, without thinking. But
I’ve also learnt an enormous amount from him. He has
always followed the beat of his own drum. He was right
to pursue his dream [as a musician], just as he had been
right to marry at the age of 21, even though I expressed
doubts about him marrying at such a young age.
Twenty-five years later Crispian and Joe [a former
model] are still happily married with two fantastic boys,
Keshava, 13, and Hari, 10. He has been a guide and a
mentor — and he’s my son. What a joy and what a gift nInterviews by Caroline Scott
Photograph by Paul Stuart
Forever Young: A Memoir by Hayley Mills is published
by Weidenfeld & Nicolson at £STRANGE HABITS
Hayley on Crispian
Crispian drinks shots
of cider vinegar and
chews raw gingerCrispian on Hayley
My mother has a
lucky Montblanc
fountain pen and
refuses “point blanc”
to sign anything
remotely important
without itALAMY