by Alan Townend2. Present continuous or «What a performance!»
One of the features of the English language is that there are two
sides to every tense: a simple one or a continuous one (also known
as progressive). The question is when do you use one and not the
other? We’re looking at the Progressive Forms in general in the story
entitled: Going, going, gone! and at the Present Simple in particular
in the story called: “It never gets you anywhere“ and now it's the
turn of the Present Continuous/Progressive and this is called: What a
Performance! Which has a double meaning because it can describe a
performance in the theatre and it can also describe a long and
complicated process. I only hope when you are reading it, that you
don't find it too complicated.
«What a Performance!»
I can't myself. Well, I just couldn't get up on the stage and take part
in a play. Some people are always doing that. They do it for a hobby
and are never happier than when they are declaiming other people's
lines in front of a live audience. They are living in a realm of fantasy.
They belong to that select world called amateur dramatics, a world
that once a year invades the town where I live. Just when the
weather is getting warmer the festival of amateur drama comes to
our local theatre. For one entire week three separate groups are
performing one play each every evening. In one mad moment a few
years ago I agreed to buy a season ticket to see the different
productions for all six nights and ever since then each year I get this
very correctly written letter beginning: 'I am writing to inform you
that the Summer Festival of Drama is taking place....'
Yesterday was the last night. Today I am resting. I am being
perfectly serious. Although each play is around 35 minutes long,
there have been 18 of them in all – tragedies, farces, melodramas,
theatre of the absurd, of the ridiculous and of the 'How much longer
is this going on?' The last category is my own personal classification
for the really boring ones. And there was one play that could have
won a prize for that category. When the curtain goes back, three
people are sitting in deck chairs and eating ice creams. For about ten
minutes nobody says a word. The audience is feeling a little
embarrassed by this time and then suddenly one of the three starts
shouting at the audience: 'Why are you all sitting there and staring
at us?' This is a question I asked myself several times during the
week! Of course nobody knows what to say. More questions followed,
which were not answered. Then there was another pause, then more
questions and then they went back to eating their ice creams and
that was the end. The old lady next to me was utterly confused.
'Excuse me, she said. 'my deaf aid isn't working properly tonight and
I'm hoping to buy a new one soon. Consequently I'm not hearing
very well at the moment. Did I miss anything? I laughed and assured
her that she hadn't.
But then I suppose I am being a little over critical. There were some
really good performances as well – the ones that make you forget
that you are sitting in the theatre. The one I liked best was a