456 The Spiritual Man
with His will? Because it is still our own desire. For if we are
allowed to obey our good aspirations, does there not remain a place
for our “self”?
Despite the fact our desires occasionally agree with His will, God
is not delighted with them because they are nonetheless of ourselves.
He charges us to break completely with our longings for anything
other than Himself. This “anything” may include some very excellent
desires but He will give no ground to any of them that are
independent. We must rely on Him in all matters. What does not
emerge from dependence on Him He rejects. Step by step He leads
us to deny our soul life.
If anyone wishes to maintain a true spiritual course he must
cooperate with God in putting to death his own desire. All interests,
inclinations and preferences must be denied. We should gladly
accept man’s contradicting, despising, discounting,
misunderstanding, and harsh criticising and permit these matters
which are so antagonistic to natural desire to deal with our soul life.
We should learn how to receive suffering, pain, or a lowly place as
apportioned us by God. However much our self life feels pained or
our natural feeling is hurt, we must bear them patiently. If we bear
the cross in practical matters we shall shortly see our self life
crucified on the cross we bear. For to carry the cross is to be
crucified thereon. Every time we silently accept what goes against
our natural disposition we receive another nail which pins our soul
life more firmly to the cross. All vainglory has to die. Our longing to
be seen, respected, worshiped, exalted and proclaimed needs to be
crucified. Any heart for self-display must equally be crucified. Every
pretension to spirituality in order to be praised must be cut down; so
must all self-importance and self-exaltation. Our desire, whatever its
expression, must be denied. Anything which is initiated by ourselves
is defiled in the sight of God.