474 The Spiritual Man
alone but rather does he love because he feels refreshed, bright and
buoyant. Thus he craves such feeling again whenever it recedes.
What brings him pleasure is the joy of God and not God Himself.
Were he actually loving God he would love Him even if he must
suffer through “many waters” and “floods” (S. of S. 8.7).
This of course is a most difficult lesson to learn. We must indeed
have joy, and the Lord delights to give us that joy. If we enjoy his
felicity according to His will, such enjoyment is profitable rather
than harmful. (This means we do not seek this joy ourselves, though
we are thankful should God desire to grant it; yet we are equally
thankful if He wishes us to be barren: we shall not try to force the
matter). Nonetheless, should we deem it so pleasurable that we
afterwards seek it daily, then we already have forsaken God in favor
of the joy which He dispenses. The happy feeling God gives can
never be separated from God the Giver. Should we try to enjoy the
delightful sensation He gives, yet without Him, our spiritual life is in
peril. That is to say, we are not able to progress spiritually if we find
satisfaction in the joy God gives rather than in God as our joy. How
often we love Him not because of Himself but because of ourselves.
We love, for in loving God we experience a kind of joy in our hearts.
This sharply reveals that we do not actually love Him; what we love
is only joy, even if that is the joy of God.
This indicates that we esteem God’s gift higher than God the
Giver! It also proves we continue to walk by our soul life and do not
appreciate what a true spiritual life is. We deify joyous feeling and
incorrectly regard it as pleasurable. To cure His children of this
mistake God withdraws the joyous feeling as He wills and topples
them into suffering that they may know that pleasure is in Himself,
not in His joy. If they verily make God their joy they will uplift Him
and love Him even in the hour of suffering; if not, they will sink into
darkness. God, in so undertaking, aims not to destroy our spiritual
life but purposes to destroy all idols we worship other than Himself.