88 The Spiritual Man
he is still of the flesh during this period. Being fleshly denotes being
governed by the flesh. What is most pitiful is for a believer, hitherto
enlightened by heavenly light to know the wickedness of the flesh
and to desire with full heart victory over it, to find himself too weak
to overcome. This is the moment when he sheds many tears of
sorrow. How can he not be angry with himself, for though he harbors
a new desire to destroy sin and to please God his will is not steadfast
enough to subdue the body of sin. Few are the victories; many, the
defeats.
Paul in Romans 7 voices the inner anguish of this conflict:
I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want,
but I do the very thing I hate... For I know that nothing good
dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but
I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do
not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no
longer I that do it, but sin which dwells within me. So I find it to
be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For
I delight in the law of God in my inmost self, but I see in my
members another law at war with the law of my mind and making
me captive to the law of sin which dwells in my members. (vv.15-
23)Many will respond to his cry of nearly final despair: “Wretched
man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (v.24)
What is the meaning of this contention? It is one of the ways the
Holy Spirit disciplines us. God has provided a whole salvation for
man. He who does not know he has it will not be able to enjoy it,
neither will he be able to experience it if he does not desire after it.
God can only give to those who believe and receive and claim. When
man hence asks for forgiveness and regeneration, God surely
bestows it upon him. And it is through conflict that God induces the
believer to seek and to grasp total triumph in Christ. He who was
ignorant before will now seek to know; the Holy Spirit will then be
afforded a chance to reveal to him how Christ has dealt with his old