The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

Communication 221

This is the first chapter in the sec-

tion on gender and relationships. Before

discussing specific aspects of men’s and

women’s friendships, romantic relation-

ships, and work relationships in the next

chapters, here I review the literature on

how women and men communicate. This

chapter focuses on both verbal and non-

verbal communication. I begin by describ-

ing the research on men’s and women’s

interaction styles in childhood and adult-

hood and the variables that influence

those styles. I then turn to the literatures

on verbal behavior—the language women

and men use—and nonverbal behavior—

touching, gazing, and smiling. Com-

munication styles have implications for

leadership and influence—who becomes

a leader, styles of leadership, and how fe-

male and male leaders are perceived. The

last aspect of communication I examine is

emotion—both experiences and expression.

I conclude the chapter by reviewing the two

most prominent explanations for the sex

differences in communication suggested—

status theory and social role theory.

Interaction Styles in Childhood

Two children are sitting quietly at a table in the family room coloring and talking about being best friends. A group of children are playing soccer in the backyard, shouting at one another to get to the ball. Who are the children at the table? In the backyard? Boys? Girls? Both? Can you tell? There are certainly some differences in the ways girls and boys play. For example, girls are more likely to play in dyads, and

boys are more likely to play in groups. Both girls and boys are also likely to be playing with the same sex. From very early on, children tend to prefer and seek out interactions with same-sex peers. Thus same-sex play, in and of itself, becomes a socializing agent that ultimately leads males and females to have different interaction styles (Maccoby, 1998). What is the evidence for same-sex play preferences? Do you recall playing with children of the same sex or children of the other sex? At what age? At ages 1 and 2, there are no preferences for same- or other-sex peers, but by age 3, there is a clear same-sex preference in girls (Maccoby, 1998). A year later, boys’ same- sex preference emerges. The preference to in- teract with same-sex peers peaks between the ages of 8 and 11 (Maccoby, 1998). The same- sex play preference also appears across very different cultures (Munroe & Romney, 2006). Even though girls initiate the same-sex play preference, by age 5, the preference is stronger in boys than girls. Boys’ groups are more exclusionary of the other sex than are girls’ groups. Boys view other boys who play with girls as feminine, and boys do not tolerate feminine behavior in another boy. It is impor- tant for boys’ sense of masculinity to demon- strate that they are not feminine and to reject all associations with femininity. Girls, how- ever, do not feel the same need to reject masculinity. Girls are more accepting of masculine behavior in another girl (Maccoby, 1998). Children also believe others like them more if they play with the same sex than with the other sex. In one study, children who said that others approved of other-sex play were more likely to engage in other-sex play (Martin et al., 1999). Why do children prefer to play with others of the same sex? There are at least three reasons (Maccoby, 1998; Mehta & Strough, 2009). First, girls and boys have different styles of play and communication that are not

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