The Psychology of Gender 4th Edition

Communication 225

playing computer games (Calvert et al., 2003).

Boys engaged in more fast-moving play and

girls engaged in more language-based play, but

these differences decreased when interacting

with the other sex. Thus same-sex play seems

to be the most stereotyped, and other-sex play

has the potential to decrease stereotypes.

Girls’ Difficulty in Influencing Boys

A second reason children prefer to play with

same-sex peers is that girls find it difficult

to influence boys. According to Maccoby

(1998), girls attempt to influence others by

making polite suggestions, whereas boys are

more likely to make demands. Boys are not

responsive to girls’ polite suggestions; thus

girls’ tactics are effective with other girls and

with adults, but not with boys. The question

is—why are boys unresponsive to girls?

The differences in interaction styles

and influence styles explain why it appears

that girls spend more time in close proxim-

ity to authority figures (e.g., teachers) than

boys do. It was first thought that girls stayed

closer to teachers because of their affiliative

nature. However, girls stand near teachers

only in the presence of boys. Girls likely be-

lieve that an adult authority figure will tem-

per boys’ dominant behavior.

Institutional Support

Different ways girls and boys play, interact,

and attempt to influence one another might

explain why girls and boys prefer to play with

peers of their own sex. But what is the source

of boys’ and girls’ divergent play styles? Why

is boys’ play louder and more aggressive than

girls’ play? One possibility is thesocialization

hypothesis. Children may model same-sex play

from parents. Aside from each other, mothers

and fathers are typicallyfriendswith people of

the same sex. Parents also treat girls and boys

differently in ways that might influence inter-

action styles. Parents handle girls more gently,

talk more about emotions with girls, are more

tolerant of fighting among boys, and are more

likely to use physical punishment with boys. In

addition, parents give children sex-typed toys

and reinforce sex-typed behavior. Thesesmall

differences in behavior could lead girls’ play to

center more on emotions and boys’ play to be

rougher. Again, the question is whether par-

ents’ differential treatment of girls and boys

leads to different play styles, or whether the

different play styles of girls and boys lead par-

ents to treat them differently.

Parents, schools, and work environ-

ments all encourage same-sex interaction.

Parents typically select same-sex playmates

for their children. Think about who is in-

vited to a 4- or 5-year-old’s birthday party. It

is usually the same sex—especially in the case

of girls. The question is: Do parents seek out

same-sex peers for their children to play with

before the children are old enough to have

strong preferences?

Schools reinforce the division of girls

and boys in a number of ways, ranging from

teachers’ introductory “Good Morning, boys

and girls,” to sex segregation of sports. In

my daughter’s elementary school, girls and

boys were not allowed to sit at the same table

for lunch. Once I observed a group of 8- to

10-year-olds playing Red Rover at an after-

school program. The teachers were distraught

because the girls kept losing to the boys. There

were about 7 girls on one team and 12 boys

on the other. It did not occur to the teachers

that boys and girls could be on the same team.

Instead, the teachers tried to find ways to give

the girls advantages to “even out” the teams.

Again, we can ask the question—do dif-

ferences in same-sex play styles lead to sex

segregated play, or does the encouragement

of sex-segregated play lead to same-sex play

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