268 Chapter 8mention expressive avenues to intimacy, such
as self-disclosure, and instrumental avenues
to intimacy, such as shared activities—among
both adolescents and college students. How-
ever, when expressive and instrumental path-
ways were compared, both females and males
were more likely to name expressive than in-
strumental pathways—and there was an in-
creased emphasis on expressive pathways and
a decreased emphasis on shared activities with
age. Thus, the authors concluded that intimacy
is best conceptualized in terms of expressive
pathways, such as self-disclosure, and that the
pathway to intimacy for females and males
converges between adolescence and adulthood.
These findings are consistent with a study of
college students and community residents
that showed both men and women identified
intimate interactions as containing more self-
disclosure and emotional support than shared
activities and practical support (Fehr, 2004).
In a second study, college students were
surveyed about the expressive and instrumen-
tal features of their relationships and asked to
rate the relationship’s closeness (Radmacher &
Azmitia, 2006). Self-disclosure predicted rela-
tionship closeness for both women and men,
but shared activities also predicted relation-
ship closeness for men. These findings repli-
cate those of an earlier study of eighth graders
that showed self-disclosure and shared ac-
tivities predicted closeness to friends for boys,
but only self-disclosure predicted closeness
to friends for girls (Camarena, Sarigiani, &
Petersen, 1990). Even among boys, the rela-
tion of self-disclosure to emotional closeness
was much stronger than the relation of shared
experiences to emotional closeness.
To conclude, men and women have dif-
ferent experiences of intimacy (women’s being
more affective and men’s being more instru-
mental), but the two sexes seem to agree on the
definition of intimacy. As shown in Figure 8.6,Western phenomenon. The intimacy of col-
lege students’ friendships in the United States
were compared to those in Germany, the
Netherlands, Hong Kong, and Jordan (Reis,
1998). The size of the sex difference in intimacy
(female greater than male) varied by culture.
The difference was largest in the United States
(d=-.95), followed by Germany (d=-.70)
and then the Netherlands (d=-.39) and Hong
Kong (d=-.34). In Jordan, there was no sex
difference in intimacy (d=+.12). In the three
Western cultures, men were more intimate with
women than with men. In Jordan and Hong
Kong, men were equally intimate with men and
women. Thus the link of intimacy to women
appears to be a facet of Western culture.
One problem with the conclusion that
women’s relationships are closer than those
of men in the United States has to do with
the way that closeness or intimacy is mea-
sured. Intimacy is often measured by self-
disclosure, and women self-disclose more
than men. Some researchers have suggested
that self-disclosure is a “feminine” definition
of intimacy and that women and men may
define intimacy differently. Women may
be more likely to express intimacy through
self-disclosure, and men may be more likely
to express intimacy through participation
in shared activities. If this is the case, there
would be less evidence for women’s friend-
ships being more intimate than those of men.
Do women and men define intimacy dif-
ferently? One way to address this question is to
examine women’s and men’s conceptions of
intimacy or closeness. Radmacher and Azmitia
(2006) asked seventh and eighth graders as
well as a group of college students to describe
a time in which they felt close to someone. A
content analysis of these descriptions revealed
more similarities than differences between
women’s and men’s conceptions of close-
ness. Males and females were equally likely toM08_HELG0185_04_SE_C08.indd 268 6/21/11 8:12 AM