272 Chapter 8■ Men are clearly capable of self-disclosure (just as
they are capable of intimacy) but seem to prefer not
to engage in it. Men can be motivated to self-disclose
to women when they are interested in establishing a
relationship.Barriers to Closeness in Male Friendship
Why are male same-sex friendships less in-
timate, less disclosing, and sometimes less
satisfying than female same-sex friend-
ships? Research with high school boys has
shown that there are several characteristics
of upholding masculinity during adoles-
cence that have implications for male friend-
ship (Oransky & Fisher, 2009; Oransky &
Marecek, 2009). First, boys’ interactions with
one another seem to be characterized by
teasing, taunting, and mocking. Boys make
fun of each other and have to learn to stand
up to ridicule. Second, boys’ identities and
relationships are defined by heterosexism—
that is, bynotbeing feminine or not being
gay. Third, boys are expected to be stoic and
to hide their emotions and vulnerabilities. In
fact, when boys express emotions, they may
be mocked or ridiculed for behaving like
girls. Boys will cut off other boys’ displays of
emotion in order to help them retain their
masculinity. And, in general, other boys per-
ceive this as helpful. Let’s take a closer look at
three barriers to closeness in men’s same-sex
friendships: competition, homophobia, and
emotional inexpressiveness.Competition
One barrier to male friendship is competi-
tion. Men’s friendships are more overtly
competitive than women’s friendships. Com-
petition limits intimacy because it is difficult
to be close to someone with whom you are inof Figure 8.7), high-masculine men self-
disclosed equally to male and female targets.
Are highly masculine men increasing
their self-disclosure to female targets when
they expect to interact with them again? Or
are highly masculine men decreasing their
self-disclosure to male targets when they
expect to interact with them again? Highly
masculine men may be especially uncom-
fortable disclosing to other men if they think
they will see them again. Indeed, comfort
level did explain the results from this study.
High-masculine men reported greater com-
fort and were more interested in establishing
a relationship with the female than the male
target when there was the potential for future
interaction. In general, female respondents
were more comfortable and more interested
in establishing a relationship with the female
than the male target. Thus it appears both
women and masculine men self-disclosed
most to female targets when there was the
possibility of a future interaction because
they felt comfortable and wanted to establish
a relationship.
Another moderator of sex differences in
disclosure could be the forum for disclosure. As
we saw in Chapter 7, communication is taking
place increasingly online—especially among
younger people. A study of disclosure via
Facebook showed that adult women and men
disclosed a similar amount of personal informa-
tion (Nosko, Wood, & Molema, 2010). Perhaps
men feel more comfortable disclosing online
without the pressure of face-to-face interaction.TAKE HOME POINTS
■ Women engage in more self-disclosure than men.
■ Women are especially likely to disclose to women over
men. It is unclear whether men disclose more to women
or men; it may depend on the topic of disclosure.M08_HELG0185_04_SE_C08.indd 272 6/21/11 8:12 AM