284 Chapter 8no sex differences in self-disclosure, activities
shared over the previous 2 months, or social
support (Nardi & Sherrod, 1994). Thus, unlike
studies of friendship among heterosexuals, ho-
mosexual men’s and women’s friendships were
more similar in terms of how they spent their
time together. These data suggest that the agen-
tic/communal distinction that characterizes sex
differences in the heterosexual friendship liter-
ature does not reflect sex alone. There were no
differences in the amount of conflict gay men
and lesbians reported in their friendships, but
there were sex differences in how important
it was to resolve conflict. Lesbians were more
bothered by conflict, said it was more impor-
tant to resolve the conflict, and expressed more
emotion when resolving the conflict compared
to gay men. These differences are consistent
with the differences between heterosexual
women’s and men’s friendship.
One way in which gay and lesbian friend-
ship differs from heterosexual friendship—at
least heterosexual same-sex friendship—is
that the potential for romantic or sexual in-
volvement is present. There is more difficulty
with the boundary between friendship and
romantic relationships among gay men and
lesbians compared to heterosexuals (Peplau
& Fingerhut, 2007). Because homosexuals’
romantic partners are of the same sex as their
friends, homosexual same-sex friendship may
be more similar to heterosexual cross-sex
friendship. Thus homosexual friendship may
face some of the same challenges as hetero-
sexual cross-sex friendship. For bisexuals, the
issue is even more complicated. Their same-
sex and cross-sex friendships present the pos-
sibility of romantic attraction. Because men are
more likely than women to use sex to achieve
intimacy (see Chapter 9), one possibility is that
gay men’s friendships will be more likely than
other friendships to involve sex. One study
showed that the majority of gay men had hadheterosexuality. It may be easier for gay men
to be friends with women. A study of 15- to
24-year-olds and a study of adults ages 18–80
showed that the majority of heterosexuals’ and
lesbians’ friends were of the same sex but that
a smaller percentage of gay men’s friends were
of the same sex (Diamond & Dube, 2002; Gal-
lupo, 2009). Lesbians had the largest percentage
of same-sex friends despite the fact that lesbi-
ans have the most difficulty with boundaries
between friendship and romantic relationships.
Matching on sexual orientation may be
more difficult for gays, lesbians, and bisexu-
als compared to heterosexuals, in part due to
accessibility. Whereas 95% of heterosexual
men’s and women’s friends are of the same
sexual orientation, this is the case for only
48% of lesbians, 43% of gay men, and 20% of
bisexuals (Galupo, 2009). However, sexual
orientation may not affect the quality of the
friendship. When female friend dyads were in-
terviewed, friendships between a lesbian or bi-
sexual and a heterosexual were similar to same
sexual orientation friendships (Galupo, 2007).
Among dyads that included a bisexual woman,
however, friends noted that the nature of the
friendship changed depending on the sex of
the bisexual woman’s partner. Other research
has shown that there are no differences in
closeness, hassles, or frequency of contact be-
tween friends who are gay/lesbian/bisexual or
straight (Ueno et al., 2009). And, support from
gay/lesbian/bisexual and support from straight
friends are equally associated with reduced
distress and higher self-esteem.
Given the sex difference in the nature of
male and female friendship among heterosexu-
als, one can ask whether these findings general-
ize to gay and lesbian friendship. Do gay men
focus on shared activities? Do lesbians focus on
self-disclosure? The question has rarely been
explored. When gay and lesbians evaluated
their casual, close, and best friends, there wereM08_HELG0185_04_SE_C08.indd 284 6/21/11 8:12 AM